La lista dei 15 motivi per cui Giulia Cecchettin lasciò Filippo Turetta

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Come tante persone razionali, Giulia Cecchettin aveva bisogno di scrivere per aiutarsi a ragionare e lo fece anche prima di prendere la decisione di lasciare il suo fidanzato Filippo Turetta il 31 luglio 2023. Poche ore prima dell’addio, Giulia scrisse sul suo diario una lista di quindici motivi che l’hanno portata a interrompere la relazione. Questa sorta di memorandum è tanto importante che è ora allegata agli atti depositati nel processo a carico del 22enne reo confesso del femminicidio di Giulia compiuto l’11 novembre.

Un vademecum sui rapporti tossici

Ma la lettura di questi 15 motivi, che sono stati pubblicati da La Repubblica, è illuminante per chiunque perché rende evidenti le radici di tante storie sbagliate, la libertà negata da un partner tossico e prevaricatore aiutando a comprendere quale può essere l’epilogo di una relazione simile. Possiamo prenderlo come l’estremo dono che Giulia Cecchettin ha fatto a tutte le potenziali vittime di oppressione nel contesto relazionale.

I 15 motivi:

1. Abbiamo litigato per il fatto che non lo avessi fatto venire al compleanno della Elena (la sorella di Giulia, ndr)».
2. «Ha sostenuto più volte fosse mio dovere aiutarlo a studiare».
3. «Si lamentava quando mettevo meno cuori del solito (nei messaggi, ndr)».
4. «Necessitava di messaggi molte volte al giorno».
5. «Ha idee strane riguardo al farsi giustizia da soli per i tradimenti, alla tortura, robe così».
6. «Quando lui ha voglia tu non puoi non averne se no diventa insistente».
7. «Non accetta le mie uscite con la Bea e la Kiki».
8. «Non accetterebbe mai una vacanza mia in solitaria con maschi nel gruppo».
9. «Tendenzialmente i tuoi spazi non esistono».
10. «Lui deve sapere tutto, anche quello che dici di lui alle tue amiche e allo psicologo».
11. «Durante le litigate dice cattiverie pesanti e quando l’ho lasciato mi ha minacciato solo per farmi cambiare idea…».
12. «C’è stato un periodo in cui dopo esserci detti “Buonanotte” mi mandava sticker finché non vedeva che non ricevevo più messaggi per controllare che fossi davvero andata a dormire».
13. «Tutto quello che gli dici per lui è una promessa e prova a vincolarti così».
14. «Prendeva come un affronto il fatto che volessi tornare a casa prendendo l’autobus alla fermata più vicina e non in stazione».
15. «Una volta si è arrabbiato perché scesa dall’autobus volevo fare 5 minuti a piedi da sola mentre lui era da un’altra parte senza aspettarlo».

Negazione di ogni libertà

Stringe il cuore leggere queste motivazioni una per una soffermandosi magari sulle parole più crude: tortura, tradimenti, farsi giustizia da solo. E poi il rifiuto di ogni minima espressione di libertà da parte di Giulia: una vacanza, una festa, tornare a casa senza di lui, il semplice spazio vitale che ognuno necessita. E poi l’impossibilità di negarsi se “lui a voglia”. 
Non ci sarebbe bisogno di dirlo, ma se nella relazione che state vivendo c’è qualcosa di simile, scappate!